Based in Los Angeles, Jeff is a self-wellness writer and editor. His content focuses on mental and spiritual health that draws from his education in psychology and theology. He’s a lifelong martial artist and practices Japanese and Hawaiian healing arts.

Notes to My Daughter: What Fear Really Means

Dear Z,

You’ll find that people’s behavior is often (if not always) an extension of what they fear most. What they most love and what they’re most afraid of stems from their fears.

Whatever you fear is your master. You will be subject to the whims of your fear if you don’t learn how to master it. It will otherwise remain in mastery of what you think, say, and do. You will never quite feel like yourself as long as something or someone else dictates these things. For some people, addiction is their master. That becomes the center of their life and thus informs them on a daily basis. What informs you forms you, so always be (even daily) conscious of what and where your center is. There are things in this world (and perhaps another world) that seek to take your center. If you have a sturdy center, then you have balance, a quiet confidence, and a mind like a mirror (I’ll expand on that notion later); the things (mostly people) that need a center will seek to take yours before realizing that they have one of their own. 

Fear can stifle and fear can inspire. It can be the heavy hand that keeps your head below water. It’s that powerful. You should think better to respect it. Think of it as a wave. A wave sets up and then it crashes. Our egos stand in front the wave and challenge it, to see if it can actually knock us down. This is folly. Even if you withstand the wave’s crash, what have you actually proved? For a fleeting moment you might feel empowered, but again, this will pass and you would’ve missed the whole point. How many more hits can you take before you become like one of the grains of sand you stand on? They were once rocks, much larger than you, and have been reduced and stifled to a part of a part of a particle. Respect the wave in its wild nature and spirit. Master the wave by becoming it. Ride it. It’s power becomes your power, your inspiration, that’s never ending.

Let love be what informs you. Receive it, so you can give it and vice-versa. The world is in desperate need of more and more love. It’s an endless commodity. You’ll never run out. It will allow you to face the most daunting waves that may even block out the sun. Have courage to stand beneath it, run towards it, match it’s flow, and ride it till it resolves.

Harmful "P" Words

"What I'm Not"